'Neck News - Vol. 2 Issue 14

REDNECK PHOTO of the DAY
 Real people, really!

Redneck Grill'n

MORE FAVORITE REDNECKS SAYINGS

"Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!"

"Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."

"This'll jar your preserves."

"Cute as a sack full of puppies."

"Gooder than grits."

"It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs."

 YOU'RE A REDNECK IF...

You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
Your father executes the "Pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.
Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
You can spit without opening your mouth.
You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
 

MARTHA STEWART'S
* TIPS FOR REDNECKS *
Part Four

WEDDINGS
1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say " yes " to socks and shoes for this special occasion.
 
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