'Neck News - Vol. 2 Issue 18

REDNECK PHOTO of the DAY
 Real people, really!

Redneck Survival Kit

You Know You're At a Redneck Church if...

...high notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

...people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

... the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.

...the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

REDNECKS OBITUARY

A redneck woman fgoes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is written. The obit editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word.

She pauses, reflects and then says, "Well, then, let it read, 'Billy Boy died'."

Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor says, "Sorry ma'am, there is a 7 word minimum on all obituaries."

Only a little flustered, she thinks things over and in a few seconds says, "In that case, let it read, 'Billy Boy died - 1983 Pick-up fer sale."

 YOU'RE A REDNECK IF...

You missed your 5th grade graduation because
you had jury duty.

You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is.
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