1. Unlike clothes and shoes, a toothbrush should never be a hand-me-down item.
2. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
3. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
4. Plucking unwanted nose hair is time-consuming work. A cigarette lighter and a small tolerance for pain can accomplish the same goal and save hours. Note: Its a good idea to keep a bucket of water handy when using this method.

Sunday go to meeting sign.

THINGS REDNECKS NEVER SAY...

• Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
• No meat please, we're vegetarians.
• Do you think my gut is too big?
• Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
• Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
• Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight.